Have you struggled in your life with forgiving someone else or even yourself? Have you done something in your past that is out of character for you, and you keep punishing yourself for your mistake? When you hang onto not forgiving someone else, or even yourself, it’s like being in a self-made prison cell. The HEAVY bars slam shut to lock us in. When we hang onto past hurts it’s like throwing away the one key that will release us from the prison walls of ourselves. Or to put it another way, if you like to play monopoly, you hold onto your get out of jail free card and never use it because your waiting for the person who hurt you to come to the table.
Do you have drama in your family where lack of forgiveness surrounds you? Do you wish that others could forgive and heal for future family generations to come? Forgiveness isn’t always instantaneous, and takes time depending on the person. Some regress backwards before they can move forward to true forgiveness. Some like to go in and out of forgiveness like a boomerang. They throw the boomerang in to create havoc, and then forget that it comes back out with resentment, anger, and lack of wanting to forgive or have any relationship with the person(s). If left unchecked, lack of forgiveness can quickly become a complicated web that affects many in the family tree of life. The web becomes a complicated mess of sticky uncomfortable situations where you become “stuck” in the web of family drama.
Why do some people have such a hard time with forgiving someone who has hurt them? Many people are waiting for an apology, or change in behavior that will help them forgive the person. For some reason, we think if we don’t grant someone forgiveness for what they’ve done, it’s a payback to make them suffer. What we don’t realize is we are the ones that suffer, not the person(s) we need to forgive. It’s like the old saying–not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Instead, it slowly kills us inside of our lack of peace in having healthy family relationships. When you finally forgive past hurts, you feel lighter. You feel the lightness I can only imagine a dandelion puff feels being carried away by the soft wind with one seed as your anchor. Perspectives of the other person(s) begin to change, and open sores scab over and heal from the inside out.
Forgiveness is much easier with the grace of God. If you have a hard time forgiving someone, pray and ask God to help you forgive. When you forgive, you begin to laugh longer, smile often, and feel a calm peace that continues for generations to come. If you can’t forgive someone, then take a long look at your children…why should they be stuck in the uncomfortable web of family drama? Don’t wait until someone is on their death bed to forgive. You’ll waste precious moments of time that you’ll regret slipped forever away. Attached song from Danny Gokey that relates to how God is there with you—even in your self made prison cell.
Matthew 6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.